Father Wound – Earthly father impacts view of Heavenly Father.
Mother Wound à SHAME.
“[T]he deadliest place a man ever takes his search, the place every man seems to wind up no matter what trail he’s followed, is the woman.” (Eldredge)
Femininity cannot bestow masculinity (Eldredge)
Where are you going to get validated?
Dr. Larry Crabb in The Marriage Builder talks about the 2 ticks on a dog relationship
Conflict - often self-centeredness on both sides (Poor Me vs. How dare they accuse Me?
Genesis 3:16b: “desire” – to step out from the order God has ordained in relationships.
ADMIT OUR WOUNDS/RECOGNIZE OUR NEED/application
Why do we eat?
“walk through the valley of the shadow of death” (Psalm 23:4) with Christ
We need to be real about our pain and allow others to minister to us and walk with us & vice versa.
Hebrews – Discipline à Pain à Train à Harvest. Minister out of it. Apply what God is teaching you.
We need to come alongside those in pain and minister to them and walk with them.
MUST LEAVE & CLEAVE.
We must tell our sons and other men that they are adequate (as are we) IN CHRIST.
DISCIPLE ALL: “Discipling works because it forces men to get real .
“Men are hurting … deal with the real issues of life. . . [I]f we continue to approach a hurting man with a cerebral approach to Bible study, he’ll never change” (Downer).
Growing in Christ is a lifetime process. You DON’T and WON’T have it all together!
SHEPHERDING COMMUNITY- He works in you via RELATIONSHIP.
We need to LISTEN.
Don’t major in the minors on non-salvation issues.
What if a man came into our church .. ? How would you respond?
Reach out to people (See 1 Peter 4:7-11)
Get to know people, build relationship, and earn the right to be heard.
Don’t react with your agenda or discomfort.
Show you really care practically
DEPEND (Rely on Christ to foster a Godly Community)/How???
BOTTOM LINE: We need to know the GOSPEL DAILY. – refer to Jerry Bridges.
“Second Adam” - 1 Corinthians 15:45.
Genesis 3:15, 21: MESSIAH & GRACE
Hopefully Romans 6 is settled in your life
But you struggle in Romans 7.
BUT THERE IS HOPE IN ROMANS 8.
Past to the CROSS. Every man needs a Paul, a Barnabas, and a Timothy.
Jerry Bridges (The Discipline of Grace): “Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God’s grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God’s grace.” WE NEED HIS GRACE.
The Reality of Wounds
Read p. 63 “Grandfather Clock” out of Some Gall by Jamie Buckingham.
2 Corinthians 4:8-18
2 Corinthians 12:7-9
The END OF WOUNDS (1 Corinthians -55
We are to be Dependent Disciples of Jesus Christ, who impact our world for Him while we are being changed by Him.
SONG IDEA: If We are the Body
QUESTIONS -- WOUNDS
Is church only for people who have it all together? If not, then why do we sometimes behave (if we don’t believe/think as such) in such a way?
Do we listen, love, and shape character in community or attack?
We often fail on the side of being guilt-laden or proud of our performance. ALL of us fluctuate between these. How should we respond to a guilt-laden person in love? How do we respond to a prideful (self-righteous) person in love?
Read 1 John 9:1-3. The man was born blind -- a biological wound resulting from the general Fall. Why does Jesus say the man was born blind? How does this inform us in how we should respond to those who are wounded (the purpose of the man’s wound and the wrong assumption as to why he is blind)?
Do you fear God or man?
Do you fear rejection and failure?
How do you wound others at home? At work? In church?
Where do you seek validation?
Discuss the “bowling alley” between the gutter of wallowing victimization and denial?
How is God training and disciplining you by your wounds?
How can you minister out of your wounds to others? What are practical ways you can minister to the wounded person?
Is the Gospel enough to address your wounds? How so?